Guest Post: What To Look for in a Spouse

This awakening post is shared by Wade Harris of

This past week I was talking with some people and a single lady asked, “what advice would you give to a single woman looking for a husband?” The older gentleman with us said he was not sure, but he shared a few thoughts.

As I sat there I pondered this thought — I have three girls and couldn’t help but think what I would tell them. I also have a son, and in my mind I wanted an image of what I would want him to be like. It did not take long, and I knew what advice it would be. This advice can apply to women and then be flipped to apply to men. Here it is in the form of a question.

Is the man pursuing you trying to win a prize or is he loving you unconditionally? 


My wife and I have been married for almost 13 years and one thing she has heard over the years is women who say their husbands at one time were so considerate and romantic but now they don’t do those things any longer. They don’t write cards, bring flowers or go on nice walks.  For some it is “they were nice to my kids but now he acts as though he doesn’t like the kids that he is now the step-father for.” Unfortunately for others, it is that he would pray with me before and read the Bible but now he no longer will.

Most of us men want to win the trophy. When we date it is like the hunt and a ring on a girl’s finger is what we are after. Whether on purpose or not we do what it takes to win the girl. For some men it is worse than others. After marriage we get lazy because we move onto the next hunt, whatever that may be. So women make sure you find a genuine man who loves you sacrificially and gets what it means to live it out.  Or you may feel lonely and abandoned after marriage because your husband won his prize and can now move on.

Men work to be genuine. Strive to only do things for your woman that you would do any time. Don’t go over the top with things. With my son Noah I talk with him often about the way that he treats girls because I know that those behaviors will treat him well into the future.

Women you may be asking how do I figure out what my boyfriend is really like? I will give you one piece of advice.

Watch the way he treats his mom and sisters. 

If he does not have a mom or sister, then watch how he treats other women.  This is so crucial because he will eventually treat you the same way that he treats them.

Women ponder this and figure out who your man is. Make sure he really is that sweet, wonderful guy and that it’s not a show to win your favor. Men make sure you are genuine in the way you treat your girlfriend. Remember just because you got a ring on her finger doesn’t mean the hunt is over.

Your Turn: How would you determine the genuineness of  your girlfriend or boyfriend’s actions? 

**You can learn a lot more from Wade by subscribing to his blog at

One Response to “Guest Post: What To Look for in a Spouse”
Check out what others are saying...

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

  • Repost/Reprint

    If you would like to repost an entry from my blog on your blog or website, please include a link to the original post. If you would like to reprint an entry, please request reprint permission. Thanks!
  • Contact Info

    Message me on
    Facebook or Twitter

  • Archives

%d bloggers like this: